Tough Room

Students on stairs

A short story by Glenn Wright     

    “Good morning.  I’m Mr. Allegri.  I’ll be your teacher for the rest of this year.”

         “What happened to Mrs. Slowitz ?”

        “She won’t be coming back.  I want to get to know your names and a little about you all, so when I call your last name, tell me the first name you’d like me to use.  Also tell me one thing about yourself that you feel comfortable sharing.”

         “Like what?”

         “Well, for example, if you have a pet or a favorite food.   I’ll be making a seating chart, so please be sure to sit in your assigned seat each day.”

          “Mrs. Slowitz didn’t make us sit in assigned seats.”

          “I’m not Mrs. Slowitz.”

          “She let us sit with our friends so we could learn better.”

          “You are free to sit with your friends outside of class.  In class, you will sit where you are told to sit.”

          “I have to go to the bathroom.”

          “Can it wait until—”

          “I have to go to the bathroom, too.”

          “Okay, we’ll have a break soon.”

          “I can’t wait.”

          “Me neither.”

          “Do you both have a medical condition?”

          “If I tell you I gotta go, then you have to let me go.”

          “Me, too.”

          “Okay.  I’ll call the office on the intercom and have them send security to escort you both to the rest room.”

          “Never mind.”

          “Mr. Allergy?  Your name on the board looks like ‘allergy.’  I’m gonna call you that.”

          “If you do that, everyone will think you have dyslexia.”

          “You saying I’m stupid?”

          “No, I don’t think anyone is wondering about that.  Now sit down and be quiet, please. And put that football under your chair.”

          “Mr. Allegri?  Your fly is open.”

          “What?!”

          “Made you look!”

          “When I call your last name—”

          “We know.  We tell you the first name we want you to call us.”

          “Anderson?”

          “You can call me Big Bulge.”

          “I’ll call you Harold.  Tell us one thing about yourself that you want us to know.”

          “I think I just did.”

          “Andrews?”

          “Lucy.  I have a cat.”

          “What’s your cat’s name, Lucy?

          “Freddy Krueger.”

          “Chan?”

          “Sam.”

          “Can you tell us something about yourself, Sam?”

          “I like ice cream.”

          “Everybody likes ice cream, Dummy.”

          “Rule number one: we don’t say rude, insulting things to each other in this class.”

          “How many rules are there gonna be?”

          “As many as I decide you need.  If you behave badly, you get more rules and consequences.  If you show respect, you get respect and privileges.  Charbonneau?”

          “Marty.  I like football.”

          “Do you play on a team?”

          “Pop Warner.”

          “I used to play on a Pop Warner team.”

          “This is the last year for our team.  They got sued for concussions.”

          “All those concussions made Marty mental.”

          “One of your friends?”

          “Yeah.”

          “Heads up, Allergy”

          “Augh!”

          “Here, Mr. Allegri, take these tissues.  Don’t get any blood on me.”

          “Thanks, Lucy.  Please go to the office and tell the principal that I quit.”